Thanks to Robert Weiss for this excerpt from his blog
Max grew up in a conservative, upper-middle class
household in which sex was never discussed. As this was before the
advent of the Internet, his “knowledge” of sex was limited to the locker
room braggadocio of his friends and a few pictures glimpsed in random
magazines. When Max was in his mid-twenties, the Internet arrived, and
with it came easy access to pornography. Intrigued, he bought a home
computer and signed up for Internet access – provided by a screechy
dial-up modem. He set up his personal email account, even though none of
his friends or family as yet had email, and then he went looking for
porn, which was not hard to find.
As the first image slowly downloaded, revealing itself one
digital line at a time, Max felt as if he’d injected himself with a
large dose of adrenaline. Before he realized it, he was hooked, spending
hours each night downloading image after image, and with each new image
he got a fresh jolt of adrenaline (though none of those jolts were as
big as the first one). And then it happened. On one of Max’s favorite
websites a clothed but still sexy image of a minor popped up. That
image, even with clothes, provided a rush that was bigger than any he’d
previously experienced, and even though he’d never really thought about
or fantasized about sex with a minor, he suddenly wanted more. He sent
an email to the site’s webmaster, asking if there were other pictures of
the model. The webmaster politely replied that he didn’t have any on
the website since the model was “probably underage,” but if Max was
looking for that sort of thing he could find it by following X, Y, and Z
instructions.
Suddenly, Max was hooked on images of teenagers – with each new
image reinforcing his constant adrenaline high. His non-paraphilic,
non-offending sex addiction had progressed to paraphilia and offending.
As this happened, he withdrew socially, ignoring friends and social
engagements in favor Internet porn. He also began to drink heavily as a
way to cope with the guilt he felt about his sexual behavior. Within a
year he was locked in a downwardly spiraling cycle of illegal porn and
alcohol – miserable, but unable to stop. And eventually the images
weren’t enough. Max started fantasizing about “seducing” a minor, and
then he started “cruising” a notorious boulevard, looking for
prostitutes and picking up any that appeared to be underage. Inevitably,
he was arrested and the full extent of his behavior was discovered.
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